


melon chu

by shirohyasha



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Gen, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-10-03 06:25:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17278763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shirohyasha/pseuds/shirohyasha
Summary: Ren's ongoing quest to kiss every damn member of the agency.





	1. spin around like love does

**Author's Note:**

> when he sings mellow x2 chu it sounds like he's sayin melon chu and it makes me giggle

It starts when Otoya kicks open the door to the greenroom and yells, “Somebody kiss me!”

Masato jumps. Tokiya shushes Otoya, reflexively. Ren and Cecil stop playing cards and look up.

“Are you alright, Ittoki?” Masato asks. Otoya rounds on him, eyes wide.

“Masa! Help me!” He waves his scripts around hyperactively. Tokiya pulls them from him while Masato attempts to calm him down.

“Is this your first time filming a kiss scene?” Tokiya asks after a few moments of examining the script. “It’s nerve wracking, the first couple of times.”

Otoya turns to him. “It’s not just the first time I’m filming a kiss scene! It’s my first kiss!” He snatches the script back. “I don’t want my first kiss to go horribly wrong on camera! I don’t want to have to redo it a million times and make everything go wrong! Quick, someone kiss me!”

Ren starts laughing. “You’re cute, Ikki,” he says. “It’s not hard. Unless – here, Icchi, give me that.”

Tokiya throws him the script and Ren thumbs through it. Masato sighs and rubs Otoya’s shoulder.

“It is difficult to kiss a stranger, especially if it is your first kiss,” he says seriously. Otoya’s not sure if his calm voice is making things better or worse. “I would suggest meditation. It could help calm you.”

Otoya is not great at meditation.

Ren whistles. Cecil, sprawled across him to read over his shoulder, shudders.

“This is a very full-on scene,” he says. “Truly, you will need great courage to get through it, especially as you have never kissed before.”

Otoya puts his head in his hand and wails. Ren rolls up the script and whacks Cecil’s head with it.

“Not helping, Cesshi,” he says. “Hey, come here Ikki. I’ll help.”

“Jinguji,” Masato reprimands, but Ren waves a hand at him.

“What? I’m a great kisser,” he says. “Ikki, hurry up. “I’ve got to leave in ten minutes.”

“Eight,” Tokiya reminds him. “And your makeup will need redoing.”

Ren scrabbles on the table the cards had been thrown onto and finds a packet of wet wipes and a tube of lip gloss. “We’ll be fine. Ikki, hurry up or you’ll be stuck with Hijirikawa, and he’s a lousy kisser.”

“You have nothing to base that on, Jinguji,” Masato snaps. His cheeks are red. Otoya stumbles over to Ren, who stands up to catch him.

Ren taps the end of Otoya’s nose, and Otoya blinks. “Ren? What are you doing?”

“You need to calm down,” Ren tells him cheerfully, and leans in to kiss him.

He puts one hand on Otoya’s waist and threads the other through his hair, and presses in slowly. He starts light, a bare hint of pressure against Otoya’s lips, and once Otoya relaxes into it he moves a little, presses in with his tongue, and Otoya opens up his mouth.

From there it’s easy – Otoya is too hesitant at first but Ren coaxes him into it, moving his lips against Otoya’s until Otoya learns to reciprocate, kisses back clumsily at first but with increasing vigour.

“Relax,” Ren mumbles against his mouth. “Calm down. No matter how desperate you have to act, you still need to be slow if you want to be cool.”

Otoya pulls back a little. His face is blood-red, his lips swollen and dark. Ren grins at him, languid. “See? Easy.”

“Yeah,” Otoya says. His voice is very hoarse. “You’re a really good kisser, Ren!”

A little of his usual enthusiasm returns at that sentence, but as he takes a step he staggers, and lands on the sofa. Only then does he realise that Cecil and Tokiya are staring at them, and he smiles sheepishly at them.

“Sorry, you probably didn’t want to see that,” he says, and rubs the back of his head. Ren laughs and throws himself down next to him.

“Try again, Ikki,” he says. “You’re a natural. Nothing to worry about.”

“Right,” he says, still a little dazed. “Mm. I should go.”

“Us too,” Tokiya says. His voice is perfectly calm. Masato doesn't look up from his book. “Ren, we need to leave now.”

“Work hard,” Masato says. Cecil waves.

“Do your best!” he says.

Otoya absolutely nails the kiss scene.


	2. in order to bloom

Ren is memorising lines when he feels someone’s eyes burning into the back of his neck. He glances up to see Cecil staring at him, and quirks an eyebrow.

“You alright, Cesshi?” he asks. “Can I help you?”

“What’s kissing like?” Cecil asks. “It seemed like you enjoyed kissing Otoya. Why was that?”

Ren laughs and Syo spits out his drink. “You kissed Otoya?” he yelps.

“Sure,” Ren says. “He wanted to practice. He’s filming that drama, you know?”

Syo sputters, and Ren turns back to Cecil. “Hm, it’s kind of warm,” he says. “It’s nice, the way I kissed Ikki. Course, I didn’t want to freak him out. It can get a lot messier.”

Cecil frowns. “Why would you want to make a mess?”

“Not – no, I just meant that it can be a lot more passionate than that. There are lots of ways to kiss someone. People have different preferences.” Ren laughs a little. “Do you want to try? I guess you spent so long as a cat you never got the chance.”

“Oi, Ren,” Syo says. “Are you seriously gonna kiss Cecil? Isn’t that a bit – you know – shouldn’t you be more choosy about who you kiss?”

Syo’s face is bright red. Cecil just looks curious, and not the least bit embarrassed.

“Why would he not kiss me?” Cecil asks. “We are friends, and I am curious.”

“Just – you know – you’re supposed to only kiss your girlfriend!” Syo says.

“Ren kisses people all the time for the camera,” Cecil points out. “Otoya had to the other day as well. I think I should practice too.”

Ren grins over Cecil’s shoulder at Syo. “It’s fine, isn’t it?” he says. “It’s not like we’re allowed to date, so we can practice on each other.”

“Like hell!” Syo snaps, but he doesn’t look away when Ren snags Cecil’s collar and pulls him in to kiss him.

Syo has to admit, to himself at least, that Ren looks like a capable kisser. Cecil is unsure at first, bumping their noses and foreheads together, but Ren lifts a hand to steady him and tilts him back a little.

He pulls back a little, breathing into the space between their mouths. “It does feel nice,” Cecil says, as though he’s pleasantly surprised. “Otoya looked like he enjoyed it.”

Ren grins, smug. “I’m a famously good kisser,” he brags. “You’ll have to practice a lot if you want to kiss as well as I do.”

Cecil tilts his head and leans back in, and Ren receives him almost professionally. Syo can only stare. They break apart half a minute later, breathing heavily.

“Ah,” Cecil says. “My legs are wobbly. Is that normal?”

“When kissing me, yes,” Ren says, delighted. “You’ll be fine in a moment, Cesshi. Sit down.”

Cecil collapses next to Syo, and Ren winks at them both. “Gotta go,” he says, and swaggers out of the room.

“That was fun!” Cecil says. “You should try some time, Syo!”

Ren doesn’t hear that, but he does hear Syo’s roar that comes in response.


	3. let out our emotions to the wind

“Hey, Ren-ren,” Reiji asks. “Is it true you’re a really good kisser?”

Reiji’s favourite hobby is stirring shit, which is why he asked in the breakroom while most of them are there. Masato sighs inaudibly and Tokiya stares down at his book a little more seriously. Everyone else looks up with various expressions of curiosity or horror.

“Come over here and find out,” Ren says lazily from where he’s sprawled on the sofa, and Syo makes a disgusted sound and moves from where he’s sat next to him. Masato and Tokiya move to accommodate him, carefully not looking up.

Reiji crosses the room before Ren has finished speaking and Ren grins up at him. Reiji sits in his lap and leans in, and Ren reaches up to tug him down by his hair.

Their lips meet soundlessly, but it’s not long before the room is filled with the small wet sounds of their mouths moving against each other. Reiji has clearly kissed before, and before long it becomes apparent that the two of them are putting on a show, though most people would be hard pressed to say who for.

It is... not an unappealing sight.

“Well?” Ren says, pulling back. They had been kissing for half a minute, if that, but in the dead silence of the breakroom it had seemed like an age to the others. “Am I a good kisser?” he asks. It’s clearly a rhetorical question, but Reiji tips his head consideringly regardless.

“Mind if I check again?” Reiji asks. Ren grins widely.

“I’d be delighted,” he says.

Unfortunately for them, and fortunately for everyone else, Ranmaru chooses to walk in a moment later.

“What the fuck,” he says, and throws the bottle of water he’d just finished with at them. It hits the side of Reiji’s head and spills water over the pair of them. “I can’t believe you two.”

“Ran-ran!” Reiji yelps. “How mean!”

“Find somewhere else to make out!” Ranmaru tells them. “Can’t you see you’re making everyone uncomfortable?”

Masato and Tokiya are focused very carefully on their books. Syo is sat between them staring at the floor. Natsuki and Camus follow Ranmaru a moment later, and Camus makes the most disgusted sound any of them have ever heard from him, which could be considered an achievement.

“Behave,” he snaps.

“Huh? What’s going on?” Natsuki asks. “Syo-chan?”

“Don’t ask me!” Syo howls, and Reiji gets out of Ren’s lap, pouting.

“You two are no fun,” he says, and throws himself onto the sofa beside Otoya and Cecil, who had been watching the two kiss with a mixture of fascination and horror. He brightens a moment later.

“Hey! It’s the sofa for people who’ve kissed Ren!” he says brightly.

Ranmaru throws another bottle of water at him.


	4. at least until the very end

Ai finds Ren on his own. He knocks on the door to his shared room and Ren answers a moment later, curious.

“Ren,” Ai greets, emotionlessly. “May I come in? Cecil said that you taught him and Otoya how to kiss, and I am curious.”

Ren barks a laugh, startled. “Sure,” he says. “Come in.”

Ai follows him in. Ren sits on the sofa and gestures for Ai to do the same.

“Why are you significantly more proficient at kissing than Otoya and Cecil?” he asks.

Ren laughs. “Come now, Aimi. Do you really want me dragging up my past?” he says lightly. “You know it’s a bad idea to talk about dating habits.”

Ai tilts his head, as if considering the rules Ren knows he has memorised. “I understand. I won’t ask about that,” he says. “Please can you tell me how to kiss?”

He glances at the door, as if nervous someone will come in.

“Hijirikawa and Ran-chan are out until tomorrow,” Ren reminds him, which Ai definitely already knows. “Idols are only allowed to kiss on camera,” he points out. “And you didn’t have much before you were an idol, so of course you never kissed anyone. No reason to be embarrassed about it.”

Ai scowls at him. “I am not embarrassed,” he says, which is adorable and clearly a lie. “I simply do not want to fail at an activity I may need to perform in the future.”

“Very logical,” Ren says. “But I don’t think kissing is something you can learn in theory.”

“A practical demonstration then,” Ai says. “You were comfortable giving one to Otoya and Cecil, and to Reiji.”

“Sure.” Ren kicks a leg over Ai’s thighs and swings into his lap, wraps his arms loosely around his neck. “You okay like this?”

Ai’s legs are freezing beneath his clothes. His torso burns.

“I am,” he says, but doesn’t move.

“Aimi,” Ren whines. “You’ve seen movies and dramas, haven’t you? You must have some idea of what to do.”

Ai lifts his hands and puts them on Ren’s waist. Ren grins and leans in, and very gently kisses Ai. Ai’s lips are clearly not human, slightly too cool and dry, but it’s not that different.

“Ah,” Ren says, drawing back. “Do you have nerve endings in your mouth? Do you have nerve endings at all?”

Ai frowns at him. “I have sensors everywhere,” he says. “In order to properly function as an idol I need to be aware of my entire body at all times.”

Ren is suddenly plagued with questions that are uncomfortably close to sexual harassment, even in the privacy of his own mind, so he shuts his mouth and leans in to kiss Ai again.

Ai’s mouth is cool and dry, but not unpleasant. He’s a fast learner, and after just a minute he’s mirroring Ren’s moves almost perfectly.

Ren kisses Ai until his mouth is sore and Ai’s mouth is tacky. Ai’s lips aren’t even a little swollen, which is mildly disheartening, but Ren is too pleased to be too upset.

“You cooled down,” he says lazily, slumping forwards against Ai. His chest is still warm, but closer to body temperature now than an overheating machine. His legs have warmed to room temperature.

“I have not been moving,” Ai says. “While I do not understand the draw of such an activity, it was not unpleasant. Thank you for teaching me.”

“Aimi,” Ren whines. “Hang out with me a bit. I know you don’t have to be anywhere, and I’m lonely without Ran-chan.”

“I find that difficult to believe,” Ai says, and tips Ren off him gently. “I have work to do. Is that acceptable?”

“Of course.” Ren grins. “We’re busy people.”

They spend the rest of the evening working in Ren’s room quietly.


	5. this joy that binds us

Cecil waves his phone at Otoya. “Otoya, please help me with this! I want to watch a television show.”

Otoya fiddles with Cecil’s phone for a moment. “What did you want to watch?” he asks. “I can’t understand how your phones keep blowing up if you use them too much.”

“It seems like magic and technology do not get along well,” Cecil says sadly. “Thankfully, I have never caused Ai to glitch.”

Syo snorts. “If you ever figure out how to make Ai glitch, let me know,” he says. “He’s invincible, I swear.”

“Perhaps Ren could do it,” Reiji says cheerfully. “Ren-ren, do you think you could seduce Ai?”

“Nope,” Ren says blithely. “He’s seriously tough.”

“Argh!” Syo yells. “Is there anyone you haven’t kissed? Ren, you dog!”

“I haven’t kissed you,” Ren says, grinning and looking at Syo out of the corner of his eyes. It’s an attractive expression.

“And you never will,” Syo says decisively. Ren pouts.

“You’re being silly Syo,” Otoya says. “Ren’s probably the best kisser in the world.”

“You’re too sweet Ikki,” Ren says.

“Hmph,” Syo mutters. “I bet he’s not that great at kissing. You’re just inexperienced.”

“You wound me,” Ren says. “If you did let me kiss you, you’d eat those words.”

Syo knows he’s being goaded, which is why it’s so annoying that it’s working. “Hah! You just want to kiss me!”

Ren shrugs and lets the subject drop.

“What you watching, Cesshi?” Reiji asks a moment later.

“Otoya’s drama!” Cecil says. “I’m nearly at the episode he kisses the main character. He’s very good!”

“Hah, thanks Cecil!” Otoya says happily. “I was so nervous before Ren taught me to kiss. Thanks again!”

Syo groans and throws his tablet onto the table. “Fine!” he yells. “Fine, I’ll kiss him! Is that what you wanted?”

“It’s for your own sake, Syo,” Reiji tells him seriously. “It’s an invaluable experience.”

Ren laughs and stands up. “No, wait, this is no good,” he says teasingly.

“Fuck you!” Syo snaps and jumps onto the coffee table. “Get over here and put your money where your mouth is!”

Ren has to pause for a moment he’s laughing so hard. “C’mon, shorty, you’re not that small.”

“Nope!” Syo yells. “I’m not coming down.”

Ren has to lean up to kiss him like that, and he can’t stop laughing when he reaches up.

“Come on, shorty, it’s kind of funny,” he says once he’s got his breath back. Before Syo can yell at him again Ren leans up again and kisses him. Syo’s mouth is half-open so it’s easy for him to slip his tongue in, tug at his lower lip with his teeth.

Syo makes a _mmph_ noise and is startled into kissing back. It doesn’t take long for Ren to get more aggressive, pushing back against Syo, who’s still precariously on the coffee table.

Syo puts up a fight, kissing back and using every one of his ill-gotten centimetres to his advantage. He tilts Ren’s head back and presses down, and Ren leans back with him and works their mouths together, humming quietly into Syo’s mouth, kissing and kissing until finally, Syo’s knees buckle.

Ren doesn’t relent, holds him up and keeps kissing him and Syo kisses back just as fiercely, clutching onto Ren. He knows that the second the kiss ends Ren is going to tease him mercilessly for _weeks_ but he decides he’ll deal with the consequences later.

Ren really is a very good kisser.

Neither of them notice the door open, but both of them hear Natsuki yell.

“Ah!” he shouts. “No fair! I want a kiss too!”

Syo shoves Ren away to yell at him. “Like hell!” he snaps. His voice is noticeably wobbly.

“Sure,” Ren says cheerfully.

“Ren-ren, you can’t have all the kisses,” Reiji teases, but makes no effort to get up and kiss Natsuki himself.


	6. a reality that is not unreal

“Ah! We’ve got to go,” Otoya says, and grabs Cecil and Reiji’s hands. “See you guys later!”

“Buh-bye,” Ren says, waving his fingers at them.

Natsuki turns on him. “Why were you kissing Syo-chan?” he asks.

“For fun,” Ren says. “He didn’t believe I was a good kisser.”

“Is he?” Natsuki asks Syo.

“Hmph,” Syo mutters.

“Aw, Syo-chan’s shy!” Natsuki exclaims. “How cute!”

He turns to Ren, eyes piercingly green even behind the lenses that usually dull them a little. “Can I try?”

For the first time when faced with any of his teammates, Ren feels a fissure of heat in his stomach. Natsuki’s eyes are really very bright. “Sure,” he says, languid, and reaches a hand up to knot in Natuski’s curls and drag him in closer.

He’s not gentle with Natuski, not like he’s tried to be with everyone else. Natsuki has sharper edges than the others and gives as good as he gets, lets his teeth catch on Ren’s lips and grins when Ren bites back.

Ren slides his tongue into Natsuki’s mouth, drags him closer, sucks on his bottom lip and nips at it. Their mouths move together, slick and wet and hot, and Natsuki presses Ren down easily. He’s strong. He’s stronger then Ren.

Natsuki runs out of air first and pulls back to gasp, and Ren chases his mouth, kisses him again before he’s finished. Natsuki might be a natural but Ren has had practice and he knows how to breathe, could keep going for hours if he wanted to.

Natsuki gets a hand in Ren’s long hair and tugs hard and Ren goes with him, grinning as he does. Natsuki’s teeth are sharp, not enough to draw blood at the light pressure he’s applying but sharp enough to thrill.

“Wow, Shinomi,” Ren breathes. “I didn’t know you could kiss like that.”

Natsuki giggles and the moment is over. Ren loosens the hand in Natsuki’s curls.

“Was I good?” he asks. “I’ve only ever kissed people onstage.”

“Very good,” Ren praises, and leans in to press their noses together. He kisses Natsuki gently, once, twice, and Natsuki kisses back carefully before pulling away to clap his hands.

“You’re amazing, Ren!” he says happily. “That was fun!”

“I’m glad,” Ren says, and checks his watch. “Well, nice chatting with both of you,” he says, and winks at a frozen Syo. “Catch you later.”

“Work hard, Ren!” Natsuki says cheerfully.


	7. who lost the dance with the godess of luck?

They’re heading towards the dressing rooms of the world’s most embarrassing panel show when Tokiya turns to Ren, already looking like he regrets saying anything even though nothing has come out of his mouth yet.

“How many have you kissed now?” he asks.

Ren grins. “Six,” he says, cheerful. “You want a taste?”

Tokiya’s cheeks are slightly pink. “How annoying are you going to be if I say no?”

“I’m not going to force you to kiss me!” Ren protests. “But I would like to.”

“Fine,” Tokiya sighs. “Fine, you may as well.”

Ren glances around, exaggeratedly. There are people rushing past them on all sides, costume and makeup and camera and lighting technicians. Tokiya rolls his eyes.

“Not here, Ren,” he says. “Obviously not here.”

“Boo,” Ren says.

Syo is determinedly ignoring them. Tokiya doesn’t _think_ anyone else is in range to hear them, but he’s never sure with Natsuki. Masato absolutely can’t hear them, because Ren hasn’t been yelled at yet.

“Wanna make a show of it?” Ren asks. Tokiya pinches the bridge of his nose.

“When do you ever do anything without making a show of it?” he asks. “Do as you will. Just don’t get us into trouble.”

Ren laughs, and they follow the others into the dressing room. Tokiya shuts the door behind them.

Syo points accusingly at Ren. “Are you gonna do something weird?” he growls. “I don’t wanna see it. I don’t!”

Masato is frowning. “Kurusu, what did you hear?” he’s saying, but Ren has already got one hand behind Tokiya’s back and the other is in his lapels, and Tokiya is being _dipped_ in front of everyone.

“Ren!” he gasps, which was a mistake, because Ren is already kissing him and opening his mouth means that he has free reign to use his tongue, which he absolutely does.

“ _Jinguji!_ ” Masato snaps, somewhere in the distance. Tokiya’s not sure if anything outside of Ren’s mouth exists anymore. He clutches weakly at Ren’s shirt, determined not to actually swoon.

Then it’s over, and Tokiya is being pulled upright, and his mouth is open and wet and shiny and he snaps it shut, embarrassed.

“That was excessive,” he eventually says. No one has moved. Ren is shaking with repressed laughter.

“I’m sure,” he manages.

Masato rounds on him. “Jinguji, that was unnecessary!” he shouts. He’s extremely red. Syo joins in.

“I didn’t wanna see it! I told you not to! And you,” he shouts, turning to Tokiya. “Don’t encourage him!”

“I thought it was pretty impressive,” Otoya laughs. “You lost points because Tokiya looked so shocked though.”

“Damn,” Ren says. “Icchi, you’re bringing down my game.”

Syo howls. “Don’t you encourage him too, Otoya!” he shrieks. Masato is rubbing his temples. Ren looks thoroughly pleased with the chaos.


	8. crushed like a petal underfoot

“Hey, Baron,” Ren says, cheerful. He’s picked his time carefully. Camus is in a good mood and Ren is currently high on his list of favourite people, because he’d chased off a particularly unreasonable producer. “Can you do me a favour?”

“What’s in it for me?” Camus asks. His voice is still light, which is a good sign. He usually drops the pretence once they’re out of the public eye, but he’s relaxed now.

“Well, a favour,” Ren says. “It’d be up to you.”

Camus glances up at him. The book he’s reading looks intolerably boring, and Ren doesn’t even recognise the language it’s written in. “I assume you want to kiss me.”

Ren beams at him. “Got it in one,” he says, shameless.

Camus tilts his head to the side. “Make me dessert for thirty days.”

“Done,” Ren says. “It won’t be consecutive days.”

“I am aware of how busy you are,” Camus says. “That is why I specified thirty days, not a month.”

His vocal façade is starting to drop, so Ren grins and leans in. “Is now alright? I’ll make it quick.”

“It is,” Camus says, and Ren kisses him.

His mouth tastes like sugar. It’s over in a matter of moments, but Camus kisses well enough to make Ren’s knees weak.

“As expected of the Baron,” Ren says, a little breathless. “You’re as amazing at kissing as you are at everything else.”

“Of course,” Camus says, voice low and stern, naturally unfriendly. “I have studied everything I might need to work a range of jobs, and I spent a month – well, I will not say. The less spoken about such things, the better.”

Ren inclines his head respectfully. “Thank you for indulging my whims,” he says.

“It was not an indulgence,” Camus says. “I will be keeping count.”

Ren grins. “I’d expect nothing less,” he says. “Any requests?”


	9. a nameless flower blooms

“Ran-chan!” Ren says, throwing himself across Ranmaru’s lap. “Let me kiss you?”

Ranmaru grunts. “You seriously haven’t changed at all, have you?” he grumbles. “Why do you wanna kiss me? Can’t you go kiss someone else?”

Ren grins. “I already kissed everyone else,” he says.

“I know for a fact you haven’t kissed Masato,” Ranmaru says.

“I’m working on it,” Ren says, and they both hear Masato choke on his drink somewhere behind them.

“Just because you see a kiss as something weightless, it doesn’t mean I do!” Masato snaps. Ren waves a hand at him.

“Shut up,” he says. “I’m not talking to you.”

“Watch your manners,” Masato says flatly, and returns to ignoring him.

“C’mon, Ran-chan,” Ren wheedles. “It’ll be fun!”

Ranmaru glares down at him. “The last time you said that to me, I broke my leg.”

“You fractured it,” Ren says dismissively. “You were in a cast for a week. And that was years ago! Are you still holding a grudge?”

“No,” Ranmaru mutters. “Fine. Whatever.”

“Kurosaki, you shouldn’t let him bully you,” Masato says, but it’s too late because Ren is already kissing him.

Ranmaru endures it for a moment, then gives up and kisses back. He’s gentle, which Ren supposes he’s not actually surprised by. His hands flutter for a moment, before settling on Ren’s shoulders and pushing him back.

“There,” Ranmaru says, decisively. “You got your kiss. Never ask me for anything ever again.”

Ren laughs. “Thanks, Ran-chan!” he says. “I have to go make sweets, see you later.”

He all but skips out of the room. Masato sighs loudly. Ranmaru looks over at him sympathetically.

“Sorry about that,” he says.

“Be quiet, Kurosaki,” Masato says, which is the rudest he’s ever been to Ranmaru, and possibly the rudest he’s ever been in his life if one discounted Ren.


	10. the smile which is my courage

“Hijirikawa,” Ren tries.

“Hijirikawa,” Ren whines.

“Masanyan,” he wails, which results in the coldest glare he’s received from Masato since they sort of made up.

“I am not kissing you, Jinguji,” Masato says stiffly. “I have made no attempts to hinder your efforts to kiss everyone else, but I will not be added to that list.”

“Fine, fine,” Ren sighs, and moves on.

Well, Ren moves on. Reiji doesn’t.

“Hey, Hijirin, did you kiss Ren-ren yet?” he asks.

“Kotobuki, that is not an appropriate question,” Masato sighs. His cheeks are very red.

“Aw, go on Hijirin,” Reiji says, throwing himself over Masato. “It’s worth it, really.”

“Kotobuki, please – agh – please get off of me,” Masato says. “I am not interested in kissing Jinguji.”

Reiji peers up at him, eyes shifty. “Not even a little bit?”

“No,” Masato says.

“Everyone else has,” Reiji says. “We all thought it was fun.”

“Oh, are you talking about kissing Ren?” Natsuki asks. “Really, it’s great fun! He’s a very good kisser!”

Masato resists the urge to bury his face in his hands and wail. “I do not want to.”

“Not even for experience?” Ai asks. “I found it to be an invaluable experience. I definitely consider myself better equipped to be an idol now.”

Tokiya and Camus remain noticeably silent. Reiji beams at Ai.

“See! Even Aiai agrees! You might as well get it over with,” Reiji says. “This way, you’re the odd one out.”

Masato glares down at Reiji. “If I kiss Jinguji, will you stop annoying me about it?”

“It’s for your own good, Hijirin!” Reiji whines. “I’m trying to help you.”

Masato considers that for a moment. Reiji, despite technically being part of a rival group, has only ever tried to help them. And it’s unlikely he’d lie about Ren being a good kisser, and it’s almost unthinkable that Ai would lie about kissing Ren being an _invaluable experience_.

Masato glances over at Tokiya and Camus, who are ignoring them. Natsuki beams at him.

“It’s not like you’ll lose anything,” Natsuki points out. He pushes a script towards Masato and points at a page. “Oh, Masato! Can you help me with this part? I don’t quite understand the stage directions here.”

Reiji gets off of him and goes to annoy Camus and Natsuki takes his place, and for a few minutes Masato is allowed to exist without people annoying him about kissing Jinguji.

That’s thrown out of the window when Syo throws open the door to the common room, already yelling.

“Natsuki! You and Hijirikawa are gonna be late if you don’t leave soon!”

He’s followed by Ren and Cecil. Masato grabs his bag and stands up, and doesn’t give himself a chance to think too hard.

“I want you to know that this is to stop Kotobuki from bothering me,” he says, and shoves Ren into the wall to kiss him.

Ren makes a very shocked noise. Masato doesn’t give him the time or the space to react and kisses him as quickly as he can. He sort of knows what he’s doing – obviously, he’s no Jinguji, but he’s kissed people before and it’s not a difficult art. Probably.

He pulls away as soon as Ren starts to recover. “There. You’ve kissed everyone. I’m going now.”

Masato resolutely ignores Reiji’s wolf whistling and the burning in his cheeks and leaves. Natsuki follows a few moments later. Ren doesn’t recover fast enough to comment on Masato’s kissing skills before Masato is out of hearing range, which Masato is utterly relieved about.

Natsuki catches up a moment later. “You’ve caused pandemonium,” he informs Masato with slightly malicious glee. “I think Rei-chan-senpai is going to cry.”

“I don’t know why he would cry,” Masato says. “He and Jinguji aren’t a couple.”

“Oh, Masato,” Natsuki sighs. “Well, did you enjoy it? Although to be fair to Ren, he didn’t look like he got to do very much.”

“It was unremarkable,” Masato sighs. “Have I just made things worse?” he asks.

“Probably,” Natsuki tells him.

**Author's Note:**

> and we're done! i love ren thanks and goodbye


End file.
